Twelve Days of Cancer

I came across this while I was on the Colon Club's "colon talk" forum, by "jdepp"


The Twelve Days of Cancer


On the twelfth day of cancer,
My true love sent to me
Twelve lymph nodes limping,
Eleven surgeons surging,
Ten fingers tingling,
Nine websites citing,
Eight nurses nursing,
Seven hours infusing,
Six hours of snoozing,
A 5-fu pack,
Four colon scars,
Three fresh mets,
Two words of love,
And a pure kiss of empathy.

Erika Rocks Roanoke!

Erika brought her message to Roanoke and appeared on WDBJ 7 of Roanoke. She is a 8 year colon cancer survivor and graces the cover of the 2009 Colondar. Check out her bio here at the Colon Club.

Today is my "CANCER-versary"

It's one of those dates you never forget as a cancer survivor, the day of your diagnosis. That day is forever locked in my brain. Seeing those tears welled up in my husband's and my mother's eyes as they told me that my tumor was cancer. I sit here thinking and shaking my head of this past year.A year full of fear, scans,Dr. appts., Radiation and chemo treatments, colonoscopies,surgeries, "uncomfortable" exams, blood tests, more Chemo,financial issues, and a PET scan to tell me I was cancer free. Whew! What a year! Some people may look at me and say wow you are so inspiring,and so strong! Yet I want those people to know,it wasn't ALL me. I give all my "triumph" to the glory of God. He gave that strength "inside" of me ,because he is "inside" of me." You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength!" So I'd like to share a slide show of pics through my year's journey:

NEUROPATHY

So , now that Im done with my chemo treatment , you would think I would have nothing to complain about... I do some days, but then again I have another day added to my life which brings me closer to another year added to my life. I have days where my neuropathy( ,a side effect of chemo, where it leaves your nerve endings tingling,numb and sometimes painful) especially in my fingers just gets the best of me. But then I think to myself, would you rather have your health on the downward decline or have this "temporary" finger tingling,foot numbing issue? ummm the latter! It is annoying when I have to back up and RETYPE a word or two, because my finger tips don't push the right key or try to open a zip-lock baggie! At least I can say it's "not a pain in the butt" (LOL, been there, had that!!) just in my fingers and toes! So if you are wondering how Im doing, Im doing well. Added some more pounds to my frame,but really need to exercise! It actually is suggested to cancer survivors to help "prolong" their life , so I better get at it huh! I'll keep ya posted .

SPECIAL REPORT: N.E.D !

( Unfortunately the You tube video of me and the kids saying I'm cancer free had a side bar of other you tube videos inappropriate and does not convey what I believe. Maybe I'll figure out how not to have thwm on there...my video was good too!)

I praise God for the wonderful news of today. I am officially CANCER FREE! My PET scan was normal and no other evidence of disease anywhere else. The best part of today was sharing the news with my children, family and friends! Thanks to all those who were praying for me throughout this past year! Can you believe it ! A YEAR! At the beginning of this journey I have felt every emotion that one can feel almost. But the one emotion or feeling that has never left my mind or me is the powerful PEACE that surpasses all understanding. During those times where I thought I couldn't take it anymore... God's peace was like a blanket that just wrapped itself around me and comforted me. and when I thought MY strength was failing, I called upon the Lord to give me HIS strength, because I knew my strength would not get me far. Though the cancer may have left my body, but what I've learned will always be with me and a part of me. I hope that whatever may come your way: ALL things are possible with GOD.

Behind the doors of a PET Scan...

Today, from 8:30 AM to about 10:30AM I got a PET scan. And yes, that is a REAL radioactive symbol on the case! The case holds a vile of "radioactive" sugar that is injected into your vein. Then I was taken to a dim lit room and had two cup of "coolaid". It's part of what you do when you are part of the "cancer cult"(LOL)!All it is a contrast that interacts with the radioactive sugar and if it "lights up" on the scan/image...there is evidence of disease. So Im hoping nothing lights up. This cancer journey of mine and anybody going through it is such an emotional rollercoaster! I went weeks now on a high of finishing my chemo to not knowing the future of my scan. It's so hard for me at times not to worry. Im human and God knows me inside and out. And in those times of uncertainty I always reach for scriptures from the bible to remind me of God's plan for me:
" I say because I know what I am planning for you,"says the Lord." I have good plans for you,not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future."
I have trust in him that he knows what is best for me and my future on this earth.

ADD 1 more to my list of supplements...

20 Health Benefits of Turmeric

Turmeric is one of nature's most powerful healers. The active ingredient in turmeric is curcumin. Tumeric has been used for over 2500 years in India, where it was most likely first used as a dye.

The medicinal properties of this spice have been slowly revealing themselves over the centuries. Long known for its anti-inflammatory properties, recent research has revealed that turmeric is a natural wonder, proving beneficial in the treatment of many different health conditions from cancer to Alzheimer's disease.

Here are 20 reasons to add turmeric to your diet:

1. It is a natural antiseptic and antibacterial agent, useful in disinfecting cuts and burns.
2. When combined with cauliflower, it has shown to prevent prostate cancer and stop the growth of existing prostate cancer.
3. Prevented breast cancer from spreading to the lungs in mice.
4. May prevent melanoma and cause existing melanoma cells to commit suicide.
5. Reduces the risk of childhood leukemia.
6. Is a natural liver detoxifier.
7. May prevent and slow the progression of Alzheimer's disease by removing amyloyd plaque buildup in the brain.
8. May prevent metastases from occurring in many different forms of cancer.
9. It is a potent natural anti-inflammatory that works as well as many anti-inflammatory drugs but without the side effects.
10. Has shown promise in slowing the progression of multiple sclerosis in mice.
11. Is a natural painkiller and cox-2 inhibitor.
12. May aid in fat metabolism and help in weight management.
13. Has long been used in Chinese medicine as a treatment for depression.
14. Because of its anti-inflammatory properties, it is a natural treatment for arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.
15. Boosts the effects of chemo drug paclitaxel and reduces its side effects.
16. Promising studies are underway on the effects of turmeric on pancreatic cancer.
17. Studies are ongoing in the positive effects of turmeric on multiple myeloma.
18. Has been shown to stop the growth of new blood vessels in tumors.
19. Speeds up wound healing and assists in remodeling of damaged skin.
20. May help in the treatment of psoriasis and other inflammatory skin conditions.

Turmeric can be taken in powder or pill form. It is available in pill form in most health food stores, usually in 250-500mg capsules.

My "crazy cancer journey" WORDS:

Create your own on www.wordle.net

RING it LOUD and PROUD!!!

Today I FINALLY got to ring the bell at the cancer center. YIPEE!!! It signifies you are done w/ treatment. The plaque w/ the bell on states: " To celebrate this day, As I go on my way, I ring this bell, For I am well, My treatment is done, And I can say I've won." - Given in Honor of our Mother and all other survivors.-

My mother came that day with SUNFLOWERS in hand and was quite a surprise! I love sunflowers! Im so happy it's over. I get my infused pump taken off tomorrow and I just may ring the bell again! I'll be back at the center for lab work to keep an eye on my blood counts,follow up W/ my surgeon, PET scan in Oct. and Dr. apt to review results. So Im a busy girl still. I hope to get back into the pool and start exercising(...baby steps though:-) And continue living a more healthy life and watch what I consume in my body, and praise God for each and every day I have on HIS Earth!

To Treat or not to Treat ?...that is the Question...

Okay it's been like 6 months of the prevenative chemo regiment. Just on the past 3 treatments my platelets were low,like in the 90's count, then a week or two later they do "labs" to check kyour blood. then it went to 78, they treated me. So my labs were last week on Mon. and they were 57! UGGG. SO this MON, which happens to be my last treatment,they'll prick my finger and check again. If is lower they may not treat me. Maybe I can talk Dr."M" into letting me skip the last one:-) That would be awesome! But I would still ring the bell! I feel anxious not knowing what my body is doing inside and what Mon. will bring. So I go back a read my prayer book passage:

"Lord, my sense of timing is fallible and imperfect; Yours is not. Let me trust in Your timetable for my life,and give me the patience and the wisdom to trust Your plans, and not my own." Amen

(taken from Promises&Prayer for Friends book, Family Christian Press pg.61)

My Crazy Cancer Journey may be coming close to ending in a sense,but I know it will always be a journey and someday (well now and back a few months) to tell how I came through this journey with a powerful presence of God around me and Tusting him in all things...even to shake my fears. As I write this I always recall the Song "Never let Go" by David Crowder Band. (a song on myplaylist).I know in this journey he has never let go of me,from my 5 week of Chemo/radiadation,colonoscopy,major colon surgery, to starting my prevenative chemo for 6 months,to having my ileostomy and dealing with that,and then having my ileostomy reversed,and finding a "new normal" and having control over it. Im truly blessed. Thank you Jesus:-)

STAND UP 2 CANCER

Last night @ 8pm est. I watched Stand Up 2 Cancer . It was televised on 3 major networks, ABC,NBC,& CBS. The main point was to raise money for researchers and their collaboration in help finding a cure. I think if I was never diagnosed with cancer,I might not have sat infront of the TV last night.I never really thought about cancer before except when my cousin,Richard died of mesotheiloma(caused by asbestos)and when my aunt found out she had brest cancer. So last night was really emotional for me and Chad. I know how each and every survivor of cancer feels. I was really touch by a well known man, I guess who funds research trials, he donated 25 million dollars to Stand Up to Cancer. I was just blown away by that. And as they read stats,my mind wondered to 1 of 3 women will have cancer in their life.I thought to myself,I have 2 sisters and Im the one who got it...and then 1 in 2 men and then I looked at my boys and wondered, which one will get cancer,or will they dodge the cancer bullet. AS the program came to an end Chad and I just looked at each other and he said to me ," You're gonna make it Kendra" and he just held me and we both shed our tears of hope. I couldn't have picked a better person to marry ,to be there for me :for better or for worse and in sickness and in health...he's the best!
My hope is that reasearch for cancer will help future generations.

12 minus 11 = 1 !!!!!

It's getting close to that single digit Ive been waiting for since I had my ileostomy reversal. Only ONE treatment left! This time around wasn't as bad,thankfully since I had to get the kids to the bus stop at 7 AM!!! They changed the school start times from last year. What a change it has been! Bed time is now @ 8pm ! we were quite flexible last year...not this year cause they have to get up @ 6 ish. It's been going well ,so far:-)

AS for treatment,I didn't know I was going to be this emotional. At the beginning you know you're in it for the long haul and you just roll with the punches. And now it's just one left and the emotions of relief and fear are combined. wierd I know, the fear is the unknown...what will my future scan show. But through this past 6 months God has REALLY taught me how to TRUST Him and all things are possible with God. He's never let go of me and I will never let go of him! (I've got a firm grasp on Him like never before!) I thank him every day for another chance at life and getting me through this time with HIS STRENGTH,because I know my strength alone would not have gotten me far. I say this with happy tears"I have ONE more and Im DONE!!!" Rejoice in His Blessings!

Kris Carr and her "crazy,sexy cancer"

She inspires me...she has "incurable vascular cancer", tumors on her liver and lungs and has lived with cancer for aleast 5 years! Even traditional chemo and radiation would not help. So she used God's "green " earth to heal her body and now her tumors are stablized- not growing or shrinking-just there. Just take a look...(you may have to pause my music to hear the video)

Find more videos like this on My Crazy Sexy Life

#10 and "My Olympics"....

WHEW! # 10 cycle was HARSH! One of the side effects of the drug they give me is headaches...this time my head felt like it as going to split open! My platlets are a bit low ,and I read that ibprophen can lower them ,which is what I take for my headaches when they occur...Chad had to go out and get tylonol...not every effective in my case but I weathered through it for a day and a half! The beginning of this week was very emotional for me. It seems to occur on my first day of treatment...maybe cause the reality of it sinks in again and that I am fighting a disease. For me , I feel like I don't have cancer except when those treatment days come around. And then to top it off I only have 2 more cycles and the end is near for me. As light gets brighter at the end of the tunnel Im reminded that the Olympics correlate well with my journey. Especially those swim races...you know you gotta get to the end of the pool and flip back and head to the finish with all that you've got! Though I know the future holds a PET scan and another colonoscopy, I have to tell myself, worry about today,cause tomorrow will have enough worries of it's own. A "medal of life" is for more important than any Gold medal!

A Labor of love...

I got it! Fed Ex came the other day and received a gift from my dear friend ,Amy, who lives in Michigan. The gift was a afgan/knitted blanket. Those who donated their monies,to the Hope Lodge in Grand Rapids, Michigan, received hand-dyed yarn made by her mother of Briar Rose Fibers.So each person knitted a square and then all came together to make a beautiful,cozy afgan blanket I am such a blanket person,even in the summer,when the A/C is on I cozy-up on the couch(,especially on my chemo days.) So when Im wrapped in this I know it was made with love.

Thanks you all who put their time,effort,knitting skills and love into this "labor of love". And Amy, I truely thank you for this gift, the colors in it remind me so much of you.

Cycles 8 and 9 : DONE!

Sorry I havent posted in a while. Well I have finished cycles 8 and 9! So that means 3 cycles left! I am so ready fo this to be done. I did however get to go on vacation to Michigan on my off chemo week. I will have pictures posted on familyhappenings of the trip soon. This last cycle really made me tired! I felt like I slept for 3 days! But it's Friday and feeling like myself again! Not much to report...but i am awaiting a special package from a friend and will definately be blog worthy! So stay tuned in !

A prayer from a stranger...

This week I had chemo cycle # 7! SO Im past the halfway mark! Unfortunately Im one of those patients that sticks out like a sore thumb, with my age and that I look younger than I am. So on Tues. a older woman caught my eye and she smiled at me as I walked by her station...and me just being me smiled back. The woman had just finished up her treatment and walked by my "station" to the restroom, and smiled at me once again. As she left the restroom and toward my 'station" again, she stopped and waved her hand and pressed both her hands together(a sign she was praying for me)and pointed to me. I mouthed"Thank you" to her and she went on her way. At that moment I felt at peace once again. And to know someone you don't even know is praying for you is so comforting. So this is like the 2nd time a stranger has reassured me and given me that peace...God is so good. I thank God for that lady that day.

Charting my success...with stickers!

You know I'm gonna talk about it! (I think that's one reason why colon cancer is one of the leading cancers in America because we are embarrassed to talk about it . It deals with parts of the body we don't like to mention , unlike breast cancer where everyone is willing to talk about it) ...ANYWAY... Here we go, or should I say I DID GO # 2 !!! Before the weekend started I thought surely I would pass some gas like they said I would. I was still on liquids and started eating more regular food except raw veggies . I slept on the couch so I would have easy access to the bathroom. I guess during the night I felt like I had to go but it was Gas! such a relief it was. It's like I'm training my body and mind to help me know which is which, gas or #2? SO I felt like I needed to track my success..on a Chart! I know, I'm 33 not 3! who cares It's how I get through!:-) Though it's funny how proud you can become after using the "potty" and not knowing if your were capable or not. I feel God has blessed me a continuing recovery of my body. I know from talking to the surgeon that It can take several weeks to get that sensation back and maybe a few "Depends" days ahead........... boy will he be shocked!! I can say though, that my body is finding a "new normal" . Well enough about talking about my "BM"s and just know that Im doing well!

1 armband to add to my collection...

Well I made it through another surgery and get to add to my collection of hospital armbands! After surgery is not too bad. I'm still sore around where they closed my ileostomy"hole". And the other day I finally passed gas. I wasn't able to in the hospital,but geez I was only there till wed. afternoon! Not even 2 full days! I'm tough girl you know:-) Well I fell like I'm a adult going through my own potty training! Sunday morning I finally had a "BM" !! I felt like getting out the gold stars and putting them on a chart or something! I was expecting loose,and watery bm...ah not quite, a small normal bm! God is good. I know it sounds silly to praise God for something so normal, but usually after having a rectal surgery that isn't normal. I'm just happy I can sense it coming and hold it enough till I get to the restroom! I still have to continue with my chemo a week from now and my body will change once again and hopefully I can control it during that time! keep praying for my body to recover in all ways. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

From swimming laps to Survivor Lap...

(my hand is covering my face! LOL!)



I guess the memories are still fresh in my head and close to my heart from Relay for Life. As a child growing up I found a love for swimming. I was quite the competitor...even in swim team practice, trying to finish my LAPS before everyone else. I also was involved in the the swim team's RELAY every so often,which involved those who were fast, strong and make it to the end of the race the best way they knew how. From those days of swimming LAPS and being in RELAYS , I would have never thought 15 years or so down the road I would NOT be swimming but WALKING a LAP of survivorship in RELAY FOR LIFE... The Cancer Survivor Lap. Some people get emotional during this lap, because as you are walking, people along the side are clapping for you and cheering you on( just like a swim race). I will be honest, I felt proud, strong, and happy to be alive. Everything you go through when your are told your have cancer is like a whirlwind at first, like you can't believe it's happening and then there you are getting"zapped" with radiation, carrying a chemo pack everywhere you go, and numerous surgeries that you feel like the hospital is the norm. So as a swimmer I know when you're swimming a long distance race you have to pace yourself ,but still stay strong and give it all you got to the end to WIN!

Relay For Life Picture video at top of blog...

I had to post someting just incase you wanted to leave comments...

RELAY FOR LIFE IS TODAY....

This evening I will be participating in my 1st Relay for Life event. I get to wear a purple shirt cause Im a SURVIVOR! and still surviving. There are games for the kids, contests, food ,music and celebration! Stayed tuned into my blog so you can see the pictures!coming soon...

New Energy!

WOW! Your prayers worked this week! At the beginning of the week I thought to myself,"this is going to be a tough week". After wed. when they take off my pump,Im still tired...that day I slept A LOT! the next day or two USUALLY Im groggy and tired....well on thurs, I was out doing yard work! I was so glad it was a good week and Im able to enjoy the beautiful weather this Memorial Day weekend with my family. On June 10th I'll be having my ileostomy reversed! eeeks! I'm excited yet apprehensive...As much as I hate having to depart from my ostomy bag I think I will miss it. I ask for your prayers once again for God to continue healing my colon and rectum for me to "use the bathroom" without worry and be discouraged...I know it will take time for my body to adjust, but along with the lists of physicans I have, Jesus is the most powerful one I have! He can do great things! and I praise him for doing them in my life and the journey he has sent me on.

WIPE OUT WEEK...

Im posting before I even started my 5th chemo cycle. For some reason I'm starting to get aggitated with this chemo. I just hate the feeling of being wiped out. My eyelids feel like they are weighted down with bricks on some days. Wish I had a time machine or a "life remote control" to fastforward through this.(just the chemo part) . Im sure I'll get through it like have the past cycles...pray for my energy level to be up this week:-)

1/3 of the way!

Cycle #4 done! I guess it's a positive way of looking at it. 1/3 is close to 1/2 way right? And about that time is when I'm planning on having my ileostomy reversed.YIKES! so I'll get a week off of my chemo schedule. This past weekend we had our neighborhood 24 blocks of yard sales! It was car crazy where I live. I got rid of some clothes and books that the boys had out grown and clothes that I didn't fit into anymore(Since oct-07 Ive lost about 25 lbs and gained 7lbs back.) also we had a Relay 4 Life "bake sale" to raise some money.This year I'm doing Relay 4 Life. It's where you raise money for the American Cancer Society and they have a "walk" where the community meets for an overnight celebration of survivors and remembrance of those lost their battle with cancer. The overnight part of it represents cancer and that it never takes a break ... so a least one team member is suppose to keep walking and you alternate. It should be fun, tiring, emotional and something I know I won't forget. By the way today is LIVESTRONG DAY !

Me and my friend/co-worker from Old Navy, Ricki...me workin the yard sale...and my boys "raising money" for new toys.

9 cycles to go! (sigh)...

Well ladies and gents, I have 9 cycles of Chemo to go! I haven't even hit the 1/2 way mark yet! As you can see I have my Chemo pack strapped to me. I'll be featuring somewhere on my side bar how to wear and live with chemo pack...Some of it may be funny so don't be offended...it's how I get through it ...it's only when you have it you tend to joke about it. So anyway, I got my blood counts back yesterday and the Dr. said they were great! and my CEA ("cancer detector"/tumor marker) was 0.5 normal range, so that was great news to hear!...back in Nov'07 is was 68.0 ,elevated because I had cancer in my body! My fingertips are starting to turn brown again, I'll spared you the grossness of a picture...not so pretty! I get my chemo pump taken off tomorrow Yeah! This time they will give me nausea meds ...the last time it made me feel sick ,so hopefully that will do the trick! Feelin good guys! I always look forward to next week when I can guzzle cold liquids! (my chemo makes me REAL sensitive to cold! bizarre huh!)

Do you drink SODA ?...maybe you should stop....

The Scoop on Soda


Children sip it, college students crave it, and adults gulp it to get through the workday. But according to a growing body of research, America’s favorite fizzy drink isn’t just a harmless vice—it’s a genuine health hazard that can cause obesity, bone loss, and tooth decay. Some studies even suggest that soda can increase your risk for diseases such as diabetes and cancer. Read on to get the real story behind these sparkling soft drinks.
Here, the top 10 reasons why you should put pop to a stop.

1. It makes you gain weight. According to a 2005 study conducted by the University of Texas Health Science Center, drinking one to two cans of soda a day increases a person’s risk of being overweight or obese by 32.8 percent. And if you think diet soda is a better option, think again: The researchers found that those who drank one to two cans of diet soda per day were at an even higher risk (54.5 percent) of being overweight or obese.

2. It increases your disease risk. A 2007 study published in the American Heart Association’s journal Circulation found that people who drink soda every day, whether regular or diet, were 44 percent more likely to develop metabolic syndrome—a condition that greatly increases your risk for heart disease and diabetes.

3. It has no nutritional value. A 20-ounce bottle of cola contains nearly 250 calories, but take a look at the label, and you’ll see that it has virtually no vitamins or minerals. In fact, the only things soda is packed with are sugar and caffeine—two ingredients for which FDA has no recommended daily allowance.

4. It doesn’t satisfy your thirst. When it comes to quenching your thirst, water is the gold standard, but herbal tea and fruit juice are also good options. Soda, on the other hand, is likely to make you thirstier because caffeine is a diuretic and sugar interferes with the body’s absorption of fluids.

5. It’s bad for digestion. Soda’s effects on digestion are a source of ongoing debate, but some experts believe the phosphoric acid these beverages contain may disturb the acid-alkaline balance of the stomach. As a result, they believe, soda drinkers may develop digestional distress, acid reflux, stomach inflammation, and intestinal erosion.

6. It can be addictive. A 2000 study published in the Archives of Family Medicine revealed that soft-drink manufacturers add caffeine to soda for one reason only: to get consumers hooked. Although this type of addiction may seem benign, experts are quick to point out that caffeine is a stimulant, and once you’re addicted, going cold turkey can create withdrawal symptoms, including fatigue, depression, irritability, tremors, sleep deprivation, and headaches.

7. It’s not eco-friendly. Believe it or not, many people still don’t recycle their bottles and cans. In fact, it’s estimated that some 50 billion aluminum cans and plastic bottles from soft drinks get thrown into landfills every year. Even if you recycle, the containers are still energy-intensive to mine, produce, and recycle.

8. It’s bad for your bones and teeth. According to a recent Tufts University study, women who drank three 12-ounce colas a day had 5 percent less bone density than women who drink less than a serving a day. As the researchers explained, the phosphoric acid in cola prevents calcium from being absorbed by the body. Not surprisingly, soda is also damaging for teeth: A 2006 study, published in General Dentistry, reported that the citric and/or phosphoric acid in soft drinks can be harmful and corrosive to a healthy smile.

9. It may cause cancer. Although still controversial, some scientists believe that soda can increase your cancer risk. A 2006 study from Sweden’s Karolinska Institutet supports the theory: Study subjects who drank high quantities of fizzy or syrup-based soft drinks twice a day or more ran a 90 percent higher risk of developing pancreatic cancer than those who never drank them.

10. It costs a lot of money. Compared to fruit juice or milk, soft drinks may seem inexpensive, but when you consider the lack of nutritional value, soda seems like a rip-off. And keep in mind that the costs of soda can quickly add up. The average 12-ounce can of soda costs about $1 from the vending machine, so if you drank two a day for a year, you’d spend a whopping $730 on pop every year.

**** Just to let you guys know, found this article somewhere,but can't remember where. I found it quite interesting. Back before my diagnosis of colon cancer, I stopped drinking soda and replaced it with water. Now being a woman in a situation w/out my female organs I run the risk of osteoporosis. So drinking soda prevents calcium absorption...and with that said WATER is truely your best choice:-)

Wearing Gloves inside???

Last time I received my chemo cycle I didn't feel the effects as much. Last time I drank some ice tea...had to ask for another tea WITHOUT ICE ! People say that if you drink very cold liquids, or ice cream it can feel like you are swallowing glass. To me it felt like that candy "pop rocks" in the back of my throat without the popping sound though. This morning I was packing lunches for the boys and grabbed an ice coolie pack...ouch! I felt it alright and dropped it! Your fingers and toes become sensitive to cold also! It felt like pins and needles and took a minute or two to go away! So then I open the Fridge to get out meat,lettuce and mustard...didn't learn from the first incident and felt it again but this time everything made it to the counter :-) So I took the advice of the nurses and hung a sign and gloves! This sensation usually goes away by the weekend, at least for me it does:-)

We'll see and I also felt nauseated yesterday when I got home and very tired! Keep praying that God continues to protect my body during my treatment and heal me correctly so when my illeo. reversal takes place it will be not so bad.

Raining today and eyes full of tears

So, today here it is 40 degrees ,rainy, gloomy, and I'm emotional. I have these days occasionally,especially when it's raining and there's no sun in sight! I'm a member of the Colon Club Forum where we talk about stuff regarding colon cancer and EVERYTHING associated with it. I really have to stop reading some of the posts and stories because some are just depressing, scary and even horrific! What I've gone though seem like a cakewalk compared to what some of these people have gone through! But today after reading about radiation prior to an illeotomy and then getting it reversed and things that can go wrong because of the affects of radiation in the rectum....uuuggg...I just lost it after I got out the shower today. I'm just "tapped out" sometimes...tired of trying to be"so strong" , sometimes I just don't want to smile, tired of this all sometimes. I'm so thankful for a husband like Chad. It's usually when one of us is weak the other is there to be strong. He reminded me when you just can't handle it anymore and what you're going through is much greater than you can handle to just TRUST God to Carry you when just can't walk through it anymore... So true Chad,so true.

Over the months I've receive lots of mail and well wishes and it's always so nice to hear from ones you haven't heard from in awhile. Well, A few weeks ago, Chad's Uncle felt that God put it on his heart to be praying for me( the week I started chemo, and he didn't know that either) and Chad's mom relayed the message to Chad and me. It was nice to know that someone else out there was praying for me...

So, today I received in the mail a Card from his Uncle Bob! Not just coincidence in my book...God's perfect timing and I felt it was God reassuring me that He's here, holding me and giving me peace,and joy and renewed strength. Thank you God.:-)

Chemotherapy: Round Two :Day One

10:30 AM-3:30 pm ...What a day! My first day of treatment of this cycle. I got my nausea meds, then my "liquid gold" ,received my push of 5-FU and got some "to go " in a take home pump. Not so bad today, but I can feel the tiredness coming on . So I'm still going to continue my "green machine" (chlorelle/spirlina drink) which can help with anemia ( I'm not anemic and don't want to) also can help with side effects of chemo. Remember my Rebounder post a while back...going to try to start that too. This can build you while blood cells and that's mega important during this time when these cell counts drop. I serve a God who doesn't hold onto statistics...I pray that I beat theses side effect stats and that all goes well and leave the Dr's picking their jaws off the floor:-) Today I had a nurse who was training along a head nurse today. She was talking to me and said, I just can't believe you are going through chemo, you could be my daughter, I'm old enough to be your mother...and your are attitude is so positive. I told her you have to just stay positive to get through it, if you don't it brings you down and your hope tends to fade. Again I was the youngest chemo patient in the room today. An elder man sat near us today and while I was in the bathroom asked chad "does she have cancer" (umm I would be sittin the chair if I didn't:-) anyway he told him that I had colon cancer. " shes too young to have cancer" the man said. Chad said yeah more and more young people are getting cancer these days it seems.

Me watching a movie .Chad doing his work and keeping me company...Love this guy!

Chemo " to go" pump.

LIVESTRONG...as a Christian.

The Easter message today at our church was quite powerful. It also hit close to home. It was titled Tragedy to Triumph. The main character in the presentation was diagnosed with cancer and only had 3-4 months to live. But came to grips with it and knew he rather die being a christian then one hating , and being mad at God for allowing the cancer . Hmmm Im human and I admit having feelings of "not fair", "why me", and "what did I not do for you Lord, that this had to happen to me" I serve an amazing God who forgave me when I ask him to for all that I was feeling when I was diagnosed with colon cancer. I'm choosing now to live strong. LIVESTRONG takes on a whole new meaning when your faced with cancer and battling it to stay away. Living strong as a christian through the toughest thing you had to go through in your life means letting go and letting Christ shine through you, praising God for the good and bad, using the circumstance to show how Christ is your shelter, your rock and strength. This week I will indeed call on my God to get me through my 1st chemo treatment after my surgery. Trusting God that he'll " never let go". Which by the way is an awesome song by David Crowder Band on the album Remedy (#5) God is awesome! My Lord has risen today! Happy Easter!

Rollie-Pollie

I know, you're thinkin',"rollie-pollie"...she comes up with some weird titles...
Well, I have felt like a rollie-pollie for the past 26 days! Sleeping at night is challenging in way...it's either lay on your back or lay on your back! UMMM I'm a tummy sleeper!!! So just recently I've been able to lay on my left side!!! Progress for someone who just had abdominal surgery. With the help of my body pillow it's comfortable. My right side is not so much. that's the side where my ileostomy is. This is where I feel like a rollie-pollie, side to back to side again... Well this early this morning I tried it...I slept on my TUMMY! AHHH...SO NICE... for awhile that is. So a small victory in my life and I'm praying for more to come and praising God for the good and bad. I start my chemo on Mon. march,24 @ 10:30 am. Let's hope it goes well...it may be a good thing that I have my ileostomy...one of the side effects of FOLFOX is diarrhea...I guess I'll be emptying my bag often if that the case(sorry if that's too much information but that's my reality)I'll keep ya posted.

My very own "Colondar"...

Here in Virginia we have a monthly magazine that goes out to southwest/central Virginia. It's a free magazine for women and usually found around town in places like the mall, food places, and Dr's offices. My younger sister told me to find one because they had an article on Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. Each month the magazine has prizes you can email for to see if they pick you. One of the prizes was a 2008 Colondar. It's a calender of men and women living with colorectal cancer and they tell their stories.


So I entered and told them about me and that I just had surgery and will undergo chemotherapy at the end of the month. Also that I had applied for the Colondar but already had 2009 models. But I'm on the "list" for applicants for the 2010 Colondar. We'll see what happens, first things first.

So today I get an Email from BELLA magazine informing that I had won the prize, the 2008 Colondar! I never win anything ! Seeing their scars is pretty powerful I think... to me a scar usually means you've been through something tough and a story to go along with it.

Read about them a www.colonclub.com ...amazing stories indeed!

I'm Becoming a "REGULAR" at the OR and still have 2 procedures to go!

So I feel like I'm one of the regulars at the local hospital! It's funny how you can remember what happened on the dates (without looking) that are on the reverse side of these hospital arm bands.
11-09-07 Blood band(I had to GET blood :Very anemic!
11-13-07 Found Cancer
11-20-07 Implanted PORT( for chemo)
1-31-08 Colonoscopy
2-26-08 Colon resection- Removed CANCER
2-26-08 Blood Band for Transfusion if needed.
TBA Ileostomy reversal
TBA PORT removal !
I know I'm wierd...I save stuff like this ...it's better than seeing a picture of my scar I will have ;-)